Ever been called a name? I’m sure you have at one time or the other! Sometimes in a cruel manner, other times by our friends, making fun of us and in humor. For some, name calling is strictly a no-no and for others name calling is part of how they live their daily life.
I’m gonna give you an epic life tip. Get over it. Yup, you heard me. I don’t care about how it made you feel, I don’t care about the story leading up to it. Get over it!
Now that I’ve riled some of you tender-hearts up…. let’s take a look at some of the common circumstances that lead up to being called a name.
- You deserve it.
- You don’t deserve it.
You Deserve It
Perhaps you’ve pulled into the grocery store parking lot. You were in a rush and you parked crooked and the back end of your vehicle is well into the next parking stall. Sometimes you’re able to sneak into the store, unseen and not called any names. Other times a stranger is casually walking past at just that moment and quietly mutters, “dumbass.” Your friend in the passenger seat gets out, sees your Mario Andretti moves and shouts over the top of the vehicle, “hey, you’re parked like a dumbass.” And Mr. Having a Super Bad Day tries to pull into the spot you’ve double parked into and gets out of his vehicle, face already purple and, spittle flying, demands to know who taught your dumbass how to drive.
No matter how it comes flying at you, the fact is, in that moment, you are indeed parked like a dumbass. You can choose whether you want to fix your park job or whether you want to leave it like it is, gloriously accepting of your dumbassness.
Internally you may feel light-hearted and unconcerned about the name calling – you parked like a dumbass, you get called a dumbass and you’ve gotten over it. Onto the lettuce!
Or perhaps you’ve got all sorts of emotions swirling inside you. You’re feeling the need to justify your parking to Mr. Whisper; Mr. Having a Super Bad Day deserves to be put into his place; and your friend has hurt your feelings. Doesn’t he know parking is a challenge for you? Why would he hurt you like this?
Get over it.
Mr. Whisper is clearly passive aggressive, the lettuce is gonna wilt while you try to justify yourself and all he’s gonna do is smile, nod and say, “ok” without it seeming genuine and you’re not actually gonna feel like you got your point across. Your friend is your friend. Think about it, he didn’t mean to hurt you. He had a moment of thoughtlessness. You can remind him of this with a quick little, “butt out, dumbass.” You have no idea what is causing the level of rage in Mr. Having a Super Bad Day. It’s unlikely it was just your park job. He’s unlikely to sit around in a kumbaya circle for you to figure it out so that he feels better and apologizes for his extreme response. Hand him a referral to realconfidentredneck.com so he has the opportunity to improve his wellness and head into that store for some chocolate – cuz lettuce ain’t gonna cut it at this point.
Holding onto any of those swirling emotions beyond this point serves no purpose. Unless you’re trying to color your hair grey for free.
You Don’t Deserve It
You’re parked crooked, but you’re still clearly within the lines of your stall.
If the comment is from a stranger it’s over and done with. Get over it. You have no idea why they chose to make the comment. They have no idea who you are, what you’re good at, what you’re not good at or what’s going on in your life. This makes them unqualified to define you in any sort of way. Additionally, if they are the sort of person who will unjustifiably call someone a name, they have also given you a fact about themselves. That fact is they are unlikely to make good friend material. This means you are unlikely to have any further dealings with them. So, you can happily just get over it.
If the comment is from a friend/loved one, first pause and analyze. Are they making a joke? Are they hurting you, although unintentionally, or are they hurting you intentionally? If it’s a joke or they are hurting you unintentionally and they are a friend it is a simple little, “that’s not funny, in fact it kinda hurt” resolution and now you can get over it. No grudge required.
If someone is supposed to be your friend or loved one and they are name calling with the intention of hurting you, that’s a whole new ball of wax. If it’s a one-off thing that they don’t normally do you could have a conversation with them trying to suss out what is eating their shorts. If it’s a common occurrence it may be time to ask yourself – why am I in a friendship/relationship with a person who gets pleasure from hurting me?