We’ve all seen women doing this – walking somewhere and they pass a mirror or reflective window and they sneak in a quick check of their image. Of course different people do this to varying degrees. Some it’s just a quick appearance check, for others it’s obsessive. Is it a helpful habit or could it be hurting our confidence?
Personally, I’m on the bottom end of the spectrum. And there’s definitely been times this has bit me in the behind. I’m not sure how I manage it. I’m a diligent hand washer, but I can seriously walk out of a bathroom after washing my hands and could not tell you in what condition my hair or make-up (if I happen to be wearing it) is in. Then I get home and realize I have these eyeliner or mascara blotches that must have been in place for long enough that they’ve spread and reach my ears (slight exaggeration). Of course I blame the hubby, “why on earth would you not tell me my make-up is all over my face? That is your job as my husband!”
Then I had this friend in college. Country girl that I was, I think her whole routine just kinda left me in shock. She had her whole beauty arsenal in her bag. She would spend huge amounts of time getting ready, ensure I did a real good honest “check” (I learned to always find something to correct, otherwise she wasn’t satisfied) and then she’d return to the mirror for the correction and additional time. When we’d finally leave for our destination her first stop was usually the bathroom to do another check and touch-up. She never needed the touch ups, her make-up seemed to know better than to dare move from where she put it and her hair was always hair-sprayed enough to qualify as a safety helmet in a war zone.
My friend was really pretty. She had amazing curly hair, this cute nose and these tiny perfect ears. And absolutely no self confidence. Her beauty routine was just one way for her to try to compensate for her lack of confidence.
Whether you look in the mirror a little or a lot, make sure you’re looking for the right reason – to make sure your make-up ain’t setting you up to qualify for Cirque Du Soleil. If you look in the mirror and run yourself down, or if you avoid looking in the mirror because you don’t like what you see make a new promise to yourself to start changing your story! If you run yourself down while looking in the mirror, make a point of building yourself up, even if you don’t believe it! Stop yourself if you get off track and start running yourself down. Even though our conscious mind may be trying to tell us we’re crazy, our subconscious does not recognize lies. It simply believes what you tell it. Eventually, if you stick to it your subconscious has the ability to change what our conscious mind believes. If for some reason you don’t feel like you deserve to feel good about yourself I want you to ask yourself a few questions.
- How does insulting myself help me, improve my life or make me a better person?
- How does insulting myself harm me, negatively impact my life or make me a person I don’t want to be?
- How could building myself up harm me, negatively impact my life or make me a person I don’t want to be?
- How could building myself up up help me, improve my life or make me a better person?
If you’re being honest you’ll likely be able to agree that insulting yourself has negative consequences and building yourself up just might have positive consequences. Basically, there’s no harm in trying! (and by trying I mean doing, long past the time when you think it’s ridiculous and not working. Keep doing it)